Wooden Gear Liquid 2: Daughters of Idiocy
by Young Justice02
Summary: This is my opinion of how the 2nd Metal Gear turned out, and stuff. WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS INCLUDED. (Rated PG-13 for language, and a couple of actions performed by RAIDEN AND ROSE in a locker.) CHAPTER 3 ADDED!
1. Chapter 1: The Plant, and stuff

Metal Gear Solid 2 Funnies  
  
Scene 1  
  
:: At the beginning of the Plant chapter, Raiden jumps out of the pool and runs to the elevator::  
  
Raiden: Hey, Colonel, I think that you're part of a secret organization in the White House that is trying to make me a better soldier, or something.  
  
Colonel: Why would you think that?  
  
Raiden: Because, everything in this plant is exactly the same as in the orginal Metal Gear: Solid! Retard.  
  
Colonel: ::nervously:: Uhhhh……. No it's not, there's a node!  
  
:: At that exact moment, the codec gets fuzzy::  
  
Raiden: Colonel, did you just say I WAS A NERD!?  
  
Colonel: No, idiot!  
  
::Everyone on the mission switches to U.S. Cellular::  
  
::Raiden runs around the Big Shell, doing flips, hanging off ledges, and killing bad guys::  
  
Raiden: Can you hear me now?  
  
Colonel: Yes.  
  
Raiden: Good! Can you hear me now?  
  
Colonel: Yes.  
  
Raiden: Good! Can you hear me now?  
  
Colonel: Yes.  
  
Raiden: Good! Can you hear me now?  
  
Colonel: Yes.  
  
Raiden: Good! Can you hear me now?  
  
:: The Colonel hangs up::  
  
Raiden: Crap. Now I'm gonna have to do some work.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~  
  
:: Raiden comes across Fortune::  
  
Fortune: Hello, my name is Lady Luck, and I'm going to kill you with this REALLY BIG GUN!  
  
Raiden: I thought that they said your name was Fortune.  
  
Fortune: It is.  
  
Raiden: But you said it was Lady Luck.  
  
Fortune: People call me both.  
  
Raiden: Oh, hi Both.  
  
Fortune: AAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!! I will kill you now.  
  
:: Fortune charges up her big gun::  
  
::Raiden pulls out his M9 and shoots a dart that hits her between the eyes::  
  
Fortune: NOO!!!!!!! You weren't supposed to be able to hit me!  
  
Raiden: Ummm…… They forgot to turn your magnetic doo-hickey on.  
  
::Fortune goes THUD on the ground::  
  
::Raiden meets Fatman::  
  
::Fatman starts to play the Freeze the C4 Game with Raiden::  
  
Raiden:: Uh-uh, I spent 1 and a half hours on this level last time.  
  
::Raiden turns invisible and sucker punches Fatman in the mouth, knocking him out and ending the game of Freeze the C4::  
  
::The big sappy Fatman story follow::  
  
Raiden: ::snore::  
  
Fatman: … and so, I have A HUGEASS BOMB HIDING UNDER MY BIG FAT BODY THAT WILL BLOW EVERYONE HERE TO KINGDOM COME!  
  
:: Raiden wakes up, gets annoyed at Fatman for yelling and waking him up, and shoots him in the head with the Stinger missiles (which, if you remember, he didn't have them yet, but oh Well)::  
  
:: Fatchunks fly everywhere. Raiden sees bomb countdown in upper right hand corner of television screen::  
  
Raiden: OH CRAP! WHERE DID HE PUT THE BOMB?  
  
:: Rose sends him a message::  
  
Rose: See ya later, sucker!! DIEDIEDIE!!!! You are going to cheat on me in Shell 2, so DIE!!!!!!!  
  
Raiden: Rose! Where is the bomb hidden?  
  
Rose: 5!  
  
Raiden: ROSE! WHERE IS IT HIDDEN?  
  
Rose: 4!  
  
Raiden: AAAAAHHHHHHH!!! ROSE!!!  
  
Rose: 3  
  
Rose: 2!  
  
Raiden: RRRRROOOOOOSSSSEEE!!!!!!!  
  
::BOOOM!::  
  
::Rose mock cries at game over screen::  
  
Rose: JACK!! ::snickers::  
  
::Raiden selects continue::  
  
Rose: Damn!  
  
  
  
::Raiden is fighting Vamp in Shell 2. Raiden shoots Vamp through the heart::  
  
Raiden: Why won't you DIE?  
  
Vamp: First of all, my life meter isn't down all the way, and once you get that far, I'll make a surprise return in the end to kill your PROSTITUTE!!!!!!  
  
Raiden: Huh? I don't have a prostitute!  
  
::Rose codecs him::  
  
Rose: Yes you do.  
  
Raiden: No I don't.  
  
Vamp: You won't after I kill her.  
  
Rose: ::cheering:: Give me a V! V! Give me an A! A! M! M! P! P! What's that spell? RAIDEN'S PROSTITUTE IS GONNA DIE!!!!!!  
  
Raiden: THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
::Raiden goes to Shell 1 again to infiltrate Arsenal Gear. About to enter Arsenal Gear.::  
  
Raiden: So……. I wonder who the bad guy behind this is.  
  
Snake: I'M THE BAD GUY!  
  
:: Snake shoots Raiden in the leg::  
  
Raiden: OWWWWWW!!!! What was THAT for?  
  
::Ninja drops out of nowhere::  
  
Ninja: I'm the bad guy!  
  
::Ninja presses button on helmet::  
  
Raiden: OLGA!???  
  
::Ninja whacks Raiden on the head with her sword. Raiden passes out::  
  
::Raiden wakes up naked. People arguing in background.::  
  
Solidus: I'm the BAD GUY!  
  
Olga: I'm the bad guy!  
  
Colonel Campbell: I'm the bad guy, because I am secretly manipulating all of you!!!!!!  
  
Snake: I'm the bad guy!  
  
Ocelot: Damnit! I'm the bad guy! I can prove it too.  
  
::Ocelot shows them his arm, which turns him into Liquid immediately::  
  
Liquid: Hello brothers! I'm THE BAD GUY!  
  
Snake: You can't be a bad guy. You're an ARM!  
  
:: everyone laughs at the arm::  
  
Liquid: I'll show you.  
  
:: Meanwhile, Raiden is in a locker somewhere with Rose dirty-talking him, and they are kinda………….::  
  
Rose: OHHH!!!! You ARE A BAD GUY!  
  
::Everyone looks over to the locker bouncing up and down::  
  
Solidus: Yup. He's the bad guy.  
  
  
  
He everybody, this is the Author. Hope you liked my opinion of Metal Gear Solid 2. I still like the game, don't get me wrong, but that is how it goes. I would appreciate some good reviews to know if I should continue the whole Parody thing. Thanx.  
  
YJ02  
  
P.S Have you ever realized how JACK and ROSE are two lovers taken from the TITANIC? 


	2. Chapter 2: The Tanker, and more stuff

Author: Sup? I want you to know that all this Metal Gear stuff is copyright to that one guy with the long name.  
  
Snake: Shigeru Miyamoto, to be exact.  
  
Otacon: Dumbass! That is the Zelda dude!  
  
Snake: Oh really? Then what's his name?  
  
Otacon: Ummmm……… I forgot.  
  
Author: Ok now guys, simmer down. Where should I begin????  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`  
  
:: Snake jumps off of bridgeand lands on tanker. His left ankle twists and breaks. His leg now looks all funny and bent with nasty bone and stuff sticking out.::  
  
Otacon: Snake, are you there?  
  
Snake: (in extreme pain) yeah, but it was a rough landing, I think I broke something.  
  
Otacon: DAMN IT SNAKE! You better not have busted the stealth camoflauge, or I'm gonna KICK YOUR ASS!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~  
  
Author: Ok……. Maybe not.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
::Snake lands on Tanker (without breaking any bones. Stealth camo busts, though.) Calls Otacon  
  
Snake: Hey Otacon, I'm here. But the Stealth is busted.  
  
Otacon: I'm pissed at you. You suck.  
  
Snake: Chill. Otacon? What is my mission?  
  
Otacon: Nunya.  
  
Snake: OTACON!  
  
Otacon: Don't talk to me! You busted my last Stealth pack. I HATE YOU!  
  
Snake: Don't worry, I got another one.  
  
Otacon: How did you do that?  
  
Snake: Dog tags.  
  
Otacon: Huh?  
  
Snake: Never mind.  
  
Otacon: O………….k………….. Anyways, your mission is to find that brand new Metal Gear and take a picture.  
  
Snake: A picture? One freaking picture?  
  
Otacon: Nope. Four pictures.  
  
Snake: (sarcastically) Oh, well that makes me feel a lot better. Don't I get to blow anything up this time?  
  
Otacon: Nope.  
  
:: Snake gives Otacon a sad puppy dog face::  
  
Snake: PLLEEEEEEEEAAASEEEE???  
  
Otacon: Nope. No explosions.  
  
Snake: Do I get a Nikita?  
  
Otacon: Nope.  
  
Snake: A Stinger?  
  
Otacon: Nope.  
  
Snake: One of those grenade launcher thingies?  
  
Otacon: Nope. Raiden gets one, though.  
  
Snake: Who the hell is Raiden?  
  
Otacon: Nevermind.  
  
::Snake goes inside, and gets discovered. He is being chased by 20 bad dudes with big guns when he suddenly turns around and holds out his hand::  
  
Snake: Hold on just a second.  
  
Soldier #1: O.K.  
  
::Snake calls Otacon on Codec::  
  
Snake to Soldiers: This might take awhile.  
  
Soldier #2: I'm gonna go get some coffee, then.  
  
Snake: Otacon, what do I do to get away from these guys?  
  
Otacon: RUN SNAKE! THEY ARE GONNA SHOOT YOU WHILE YOU ARE TALKING TO ME!  
  
Snake: No they won't. Everyone stops what they are doing when I use my Codec, or reach for a gun, or even an item. They kinda freeze in time, or something.  
  
Otacon: Well…. That's not very realistic. I though this game was supposed to be like real life.  
  
Snake: It is! It's exactly like real life!  
  
Otacon: PUHLEASE SNAKE! This is SOOOO fake, it isn't even funny.  
  
Snake: What do you mean?  
  
Otacon: You get shot in the head and as long as you have a ration in your hand, you stay alive.  
  
Snake: SO? That's pretty realistic. I think.  
  
Otacon: Oh shit. YOU ARE A RETARD!  
  
:: Soldier #23 shoots Snake in the head. (yes, there are still only 20 soldiers. You're paying attention. YAY!)::  
  
Snake: Oww!  
  
::Snake looks at his life meter in the upper left-hand corner of the screen.::  
  
Otacon: See what I mean? It's still half full. Another thing, you are a freaking OLD MAN! How can you possibly do 50 somersaults, hang off of a ledge for half an hour, and then turn around and kick a pregnant lady's ass? A PREGNANT LADY, for GOD's SAKE! You are MEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Snake: Hey now, I didn't know she was pregnant.  
  
Author: O……….k………. I never figured Metal Gear would turn into a soap opera, but, wudeva.  
  
Otacon: HEY!! You SHUT UP! It's not my fault that I slept with my step- mom!  
  
Snake: You slept with your step-mommy? Yucky.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
:: Snake gets through taking pictures of Metal Gear Ray, and puts them into computer::  
  
Otacon: Snake, THESE PICTURES SUCK!!!! But we'll use them. You still have to get blown up by Ocelot so that girlie boy can play the game at that sea shell place.  
  
Snake: Shalashaska is gonna blow me up?  
  
Otacon: No…. Ocelot.  
  
Raiden: HEY NOW!! I AM NOT GIRLIE! I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! AND A PROSTITUTE!  
  
Rose: You DO have a prostitute!!!!!!!  
  
Snake: You're not girlie?  
  
::Snake rolls on the floor, laughing, while being shot at by marines with no underpants::  
  
Snake: You WEAR A FREAKING WIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1  
  
Raiden: Hey! It's for ammo!  
  
Otacon: Retard. That's what a bandana is for.  
  
Raiden: Damn!  
  
Emma: I AM NNNNOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTT A PROSTITUTE!!!!!  
  
Otacon: E.E.?  
  
Emma: DAMN IT!! YOU BASTARD! STOP CALLING ME THAT STUPID NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Author: Hey now. EVERYBODY CHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Emma, Raiden, Rose, what the hell are you guys doing in the Tanker chapter?  
  
Raiden: Ummmmmmmmm…………………  
  
Rose: Oops……  
  
Emma: Byebye!  
  
Rose: ::under breath:: bitch  
  
Emma: HEY, I HEARD THAT!  
  
Rose: So what? Why don't you WALK over here and fight me?!  
  
:: Emma's legs aren't working, by the way::  
  
Raiden: Ooo…. That was low.  
  
:: Rose and Emma start cat-fighting::  
  
Marines in background: JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Author: Ummmmmmmm………….. sorry bout that. Next time, on Jerry Springer!!!!!!!!! Ummmm……….. errrr………. I see a law suit coming out of that. Cross that out, Mr. Beta Reader person. What I meant to say was, NEXT time on Wooden Gear Liquid, the pointless VR Missions, along with Solidus meets Solid meets Liquid-arm/Ocelot, the REUNION OF THE REPTILES!  
  
::Author touches ear for a sec::  
  
Author: What did you say? I don't HAVE A BETA READER? Damn. 


	3. Chapter 3: Kodak moments, Family reunion...

Author: Hmmm…… Where to begin today? Maybe some Raiden bashing? Nah. Ooooo.. Fatman dies! More U.S. Cellular bashing! Me like!::  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
::Raiden beats Fatman into a bloody pulp, then defuses BAB (big ass bomb). About to walk downstairs when Ninja pops up::  
  
Raiden: Who the hell are you?  
  
Ninja: I'm like you. I have no name.  
  
Raiden: Liar.  
  
Ninja: I AM NOT A LIAR!  
  
Raiden: Yes you are!  
  
Ninja: BITCH! DIE!  
  
:: Ninja proceeds to chop Raiden into fifty million little pieces::  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`  
  
Author: Ummmm…. No. Try again.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
::Raiden beats Fatman into a bloody pulp, then defuses BAB (big ass bomb). About to walk downstairs when Ninja pops up::  
  
Raiden: Who the hell are you?  
  
Ninja: I'm like you. I have no name.  
  
Raiden: Wudeva. You're Olga and you KNOW IT!  
  
Ninja: No I'm not.  
  
Raiden: Yes you are.  
  
Ninja: No I'm not, take this.  
  
::Ninja gives Raiden a pink thong ::  
  
Ninja: This will get you into the Shell 1 Core.  
  
Raiden: It will?  
  
Ninja: Yup.  
  
Raiden: Are you sure?  
  
Ninja: Yup.  
  
::Raiden crouches and then gives himself a Wet Willy, which calls the Colonel::  
  
Raiden: Colonel, are you there?  
  
Colonel: Nope.  
  
Raiden: OK.  
  
::Raiden calls Pliskin::  
  
Raiden: Snake, you there?  
  
Snake: Yup. AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
::Gun shots heard in background. Game over screen pops up::  
  
Mei Ling: Snake? SNAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Raiden: What the hell is GOING ON?  
  
Snake: Kidding.  
  
::Game over screen falls off, showing Raiden still giving himself a Wet Willy::  
  
Raiden: Snake, I see a Ninja.  
  
Snake: Yeah. And?  
  
Raiden: Should I trust him?  
  
Snake: Yeah, you should trust her…….. er…….. I mean….. ummmm…… him.. Yeah, go ahead and do what HE says.  
  
Otacon in background: Snake, will you get off the codec with that girlie man and help me out here?  
  
Snake: Yeah, gotta go Raiden.  
  
::Snake hangs up::  
  
::Raiden runs to Strut C bathrooms and tries on pink thong.::  
  
Raiden: Hmmm…. How is this supposed to get me into the Shell 1 Core?  
  
::Ninja suddenly appears out of nowhere::  
  
Ninja: It just will.  
  
Raiden: Hey! Are you checking me out!?  
  
::Ninja blushes (even though metal can't blush)::  
  
Ninja: Ummm… no.  
  
Raiden: YOU ARE TOO!! YOU ARE A GAY SICK BASTARD!!  
  
Ninja: No I'M NOT!  
  
:: Ninja whacks herself in the face, which makes the suit disappear, revealing a very nude Olga Gurlukovich::  
  
::Raiden's jaw gapes open::  
  
Raiden: Ok, so you aren't gay.  
  
Olga: Sank you. So….. do you vant to get eet own?  
  
Raiden: Huh?  
  
Olga: Take me NOW!  
  
::Olga throws Raiden into a stall, and they proceed to do the dirty. At that very moment, a guard decides to relieve himself. He goes into stall and lets loose.::  
  
Olga: Awwww… DO DAT TING WIT YOUR TONGUE AGAIN!  
  
Raiden (in a very Austin Powers-like way): YEAH BABY!!! YEAH!!!  
  
:: Guard opens the stall door where they are doing the dirty, and gazes in aww. Pulls out a Kodak camera, and proceeds to take many many snapshots.::  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
::Later, at Wal-Mart::  
  
Photography Guy: Hey, Fred, come take a look at these pics!  
  
Fred: Damn! Two lesbians!!!!  
  
Photo Guy: Yup, that blonde one doesn't have very much boobs, but… wait!!! WHAT IS THAT!!???  
  
Fred: That blonde girl HAS A PETER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Photo Guy: Yucky.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Author: Sorry, that was kinda spontaneous. For a brief moment I REALLY HATED RAIDEN. Won't happen again.  
  
::Author crosses fingers behind back, just in case::  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Author: This is the reunion of the three Snakes on Jerrie Springhead (no law-suits please)  
  
  
  
Jerrie: Today, on Jerry Springhead. "I am one of many clones of an evil villain dead-set on taking over the world, and I would like a chance at killing every other clone of my old man (or woman) so that I can be The One!"  
  
Author: HEY NOW!!! I DON'T WANT JET LI TO SUE MY ASS!!! TAKE THAT OFF!!  
  
Jerrie: No, damnit!  
  
Author: NOW, or I'll write you in as a TRANSVESTITE!!!!  
  
Jerrie: Oh shit!! OK!! Today, on Jerry Springhead. "I am one of many clones of an evil villain dead-set on taking over the world, and I would like a chance at killing every other clone of my old man (or woman) so that I can be the only clone of my old man (or woman)! How's that?"  
  
Author: Better.  
  
::Ocelot walks onto stage and sits down in big chair.::  
  
Jerrie: So… What is your name, and who are you a clone of?  
  
Ocelot: I am Shalashaska, and I am no one's clone. My arm is, though!!!  
  
Jerrie: O…k… So, Mr. Arm, who are you, and who is your "clone-daddy"?  
  
Arm: Hello. First of all, Jerrie, I would just like to say that I LOVE YOUR SHOW!!! JERRIE ROCKS!!!!!! YEAH!!!  
  
::Arm starts a chant throughout the crowd::  
  
Audience: JERRIE!!! JERRIE!! JERRIE!!!! JERRIE!!!!  
  
:: Chant slowly dies down::  
  
Arm:: Anyways, I am Liquid Snake, and I am the clone of Big Boss!!!! My story is actually kinda sad. ::sniffles:: I have tried so ::sniffles:: hard to destroy ::sniffles:: my brothers, but then ::sniffles:: I get stuck ::sniffles:: as an ARM!  
  
Jerrie: ::snore::  
  
Audience: (sadly) Awwwwwww!  
  
Jerrie: ::wakes up:: Oh! Well, anyway, let's bring out our next clone. SOLIDUS!! COME ONE DOWN!!!!!  
  
:: An eighty year old janitor with the name tag Bud steps out from the curtain::  
  
Bud: BITCH!! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!!!!!!!!  
  
Liquid: BRING IT ON!!!!  
  
:: They start to attack each other, before big tough guys break them up and sit them in opposing chairs::  
  
Liquid: Fag.  
  
Bud: Cocksucker.  
  
Jerrie: Guys, chill! So, Bud, where is Solidus?  
  
Janitor Bud: Oh, yeah. He's right here.  
  
::Bud lifts up pants leg::  
  
Leg: Hello Jerrie, I am Solidus Snake! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Jerrie: O.k. That's kinda freaky. Next, we have SOLID SNAKE!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
:: Nothing happens. Suddenly, a wall across from the stage explodes. Snake walks through the smoky hole in the wall::  
  
Liquid: Dumbass, always gotta make a grand entrance.  
  
Solid: Are you talking to ME!?  
  
Solidus: Yeah, he was talking to you! You ARE BOTH INCOMPETENT FOOLS!!!!  
  
Solid: Oh yeah? Well, you are fat, ugly, have a small peter, and will do anything that has a hole (and yes, that includes trees)!  
  
Jerrie: Ouch.  
  
:: The Snake brothers start to fight each other. Solid stabs a knife into Janitor Bud's leg, Solidus tries to shove his foot up Ocelot's ***, and Liquid tries to bite Solid's ear off::  
  
Jerrie: Hey guys, now chill!  
  
::They continue to fight, Snake pulls out a Nikita, while Liquid pulls out a Revolver. Solidus is just SOL::  
  
Jerrie: I SAID CHILL!  
  
:: Jerrie takes a dart gun and shoots all three brothers in the crotch. They all pass out on the floor instantly::  
  
Jerrie: Damn, they are annoying. Now, for the final Big Boss clone, Gaseous Snake!!!!!  
  
::A wasted college frat guy walks out on stage::  
  
Jerrie: Who are you, and where is Gaseous?  
  
Frat Guy: He's right here!  
  
::Frat Guy turns so that his back is facing the audience, and proceeds to pull his pants to his ankles.::  
  
Jerrie: OH **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED*** *CENSORED** **CENSORED** **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CE NSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSOR ED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED** **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CE NSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED**  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Moral of the story: FAMILY REUNIONS ALWAYS END IN F****D UP BODY PARTS.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Author: Sorry about that. Next time, on Jerrie Springhead: "I AM TOO WASTED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING." Guest starring Rosie O'Donnell!  
  
P.S. Now, kids, remember. Lawsuits, bad! Tequila, good! Byebye now. 


End file.
